Of Bells and Fairies
by Sango Hikari
Summary: Zaraki is sent to Earth on vacation and meets up with a certain female Hollow slayer. What happens when they're forced to work together to help their friends? Action, Humor, and the occasional flying object. Introducing the brand new pairing of KenHime!
1. Of Arrival and Cows

Welcome to the first chapter of 'Of Bells and Fairies." It was inspired by my senpai, who suggested the pairing of Zaraki and Orihime; though I doubt he thought I'd actually write a story about them. But here it is. Let the madness begin!

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Bleach. -grabs a bell off of Zaraki's head and laughs manically-

* * *

The human world was a strange place. Especially to a certain Zaraki Kenpachi.

For one thing, there was hardly any killing. Hell, there were barely any fights that could actually _lead_ to killing in the first place. And, to his disappointment, very few of said fights involved blood, aside from the few cuts and scrapes accumulated from random punches and kicks; they didn't even use weapons, except for the occasional rock thrown by the losing side. The lack of blood greatly disappointed the captain of the Eleventh Division. He liked blood.

Stranger still were the weird machines the humans rode in. They sat inside them, in front of a strange circular device, and they magically began to move. They were surprisingly fast, too. Not as fast as his shunpo, but still fast. He liked to race the strange machines to certain points, such as these weird red octagonal signs with the word 'Stop' written on them.

Even their tea was strange. They came in all sorts of odd flavors: raspberry, peach, and cherry were a few examples. They also had coconut tea. The thought made him want to puke. He hated coconut. He hated the idea of coconut flavored tea even more. Tea was sacred. Adding the strange substance that some considered to be a food to it went against the laws of nature; no, it went against _humanity._ He made a mental note to buy a pack of the disgusting tea bags and destroy them with his Zanpakuto once he figured out how to get some of the strange green paper the humans called money.

And, to make things worse, his vice-captain Yachiru was along for the ride, excitedly pointing out random objects that sparked her interest. She especially liked the weird hanging objects that changed color from time to time, although red, yellow, and green seemed to be an odd combination of colors. The only thing Zaraki found interesting about them was that they seemed to control the moving machines that the humans occupied: he found that when the light was red, they stopped; when green, they moved; and when yellow, they sped up so as not to have to stop when the light turned red. It was somewhat amusing to watch, if not only for the occasional idiot that would disobey the Law of the Traffic Light and crash into various objects; usually the other machines, but he saw one run into a pole once. Seeing them crash into each other turned out to be the high point of the day, seeing as he was bored out of his mind the rest of the time. Well, what was left of his mind, anyway. After being around Yachiru for so long, it was no wonder that most of his brain cells had already died.

Some vacation this was turning out to be.

----------

"_Zaraki!"_

_Zaraki turned to see the Tenth Division Captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou, standing behind him. "What do you want, brat?" he said, at the same time that Yachiru popped up and said, "Hiya shorty!"_

_A vein throbbed on Hitsugaya's forehead, while one eyebrow twitched uncontrollably. "I told you not to call me shorty _or _brat!" the small captain yelled, the temperature dropping slightly._

"_Yeah, yeah, whatever. What do you want?" Zaraki asked, annoyed. He had been enjoying a nice supposed-to-be-working nap when the other captain had woken him up. It also didn't help that his pink-haired vice-captain was now practically standing on his head and playing with the bells in his hair. He liked his bells. He hated it when people messed with them._

"_Is it true that you've been…" Hitsugaya paused for a moment to look at the report he held in his hand, "fighting with _cows _down on Earth?"_

"_Oh, so that's what those black and white things were!" Zaraki said, scratching his head where Yachiru had just stepped. "I was wondering what they were called."_

"_And exactly _why _were you fighting them?"_

"_Well, the Hollow I had been sent to fight was so weak, the thing was dead after about two seconds," Zaraki said. He had stopped scratching his head and was now twirling his pinky inside his ear. "I was bored, and there were a bunch of 'em just standing around. Don't worry, I didn't kill any of 'em. I just made them bleed a little. You know how much I love blood."_

_Hitsugaya's eyebrow was twitching again. "That's animal abuse!" he yelled, standing on his toes to be more intimidating. "You know you aren't supposed to hurt anyone when you're in the human world!"_

"_What's the big deal?" Zaraki complained, examining the contents of his ear that now covered the tip of his small finger. "It was just a couple of those cow things. It's not like I attacked a person or anything. Besides, it's not like there's much to fight _here_."_

_Hitsugaya sighed. "It's because of that attitude that Yamamoto-taichou decided that you need a vacation."_

_Zaraki's head snapped up. "What the hell? I don't need a freakin' vacation!" He continued to rant about killing and blood and other random things that really had nothing to do with vacations. Hitsugaya was secretly impressed that he knew the meaning of the word. "Don't yell at me," he said. "It's not like it was my idea. You're to go to the human world and spend three weeks there. And you aren't allowed to kill anything!"_

"_Damn it! What the hell!" Zaraki yelled, hating the idea of having to spend five minutes down on Earth, let alone three whole weeks. Yachiru was jumping up and down on top of his head, yelling, "Vacation! Vacation!" over and over again. This only ticked the already pissed captain even more._

"_Oh, and Yachiru-fukutaichou is going to go with you," Hitsugaya added with a smirk. "I suggest you get ready." He then walked away, leaving the frustrated captain alone. He didn't want to be there when Zaraki decided to go on a wild rampage while throwing various objects at random people. He had learned that the last time it happened; someone had decided to give him a giant stuffed teddy bear for Christmas as a joke. He had thrown the poor Shinigami out the window, and then proceeded to tear the bear's head off while throwing the stuffing at anyone who happened to be nearby._

_The Eleventh Division captain had been very close to repeating the incident, but had decided not to risk getting stuck in the human world even longer. He made a strange noise that sounded like a cross between a groan and a sigh._

_It was going to be a long three weeks._

----------

"Ken-chan, look! It changed color again!" Yachiru squealed, pointing at a traffic light that had just turned red. "Whee! It's so pretty!"

"Yeah, yeah," Zaraki muttered. "I've only seen it about five thousand times now." Yachiru was at her usual spot on his back, her pink hair blowing in his face. He had been there a total of one day, and already he was sick of it. To make it worse, he was stuck in a stupid gigai until it was time for his 'vacation' to end. He hated the stupid thing. He made another note to destroy it along with the coconut tea.

Just then, he felt someone bump into him. He clenched his fist, ready to pummel whoever had been stupid enough to run into him. After all, Hitsugaya had said no killing, but he hadn't said anything about just hurting the damn humans. He turned and saw a girl with long orange-red hair lying on the ground. It looked like she had fallen when she ran into him. She was wearing a school uniform of a white shirt and grey skirt. Oh yeah, there was one other thing. She was _very_ large in the chest area. He couldn't help but notice that little detail. For some reason, she looked familiar. It wasn't until Yachiru jumped down and spoke to her did he remember.

"Hime-chan!" Yachiru said, jumping on the girl. She was instantly smothered by the larger girl's breasts, but she didn't seem to mind. At the name 'Hime-chan' Zaraki remembered where he had seen her. Her name was Inoue Orihime, and she had come to Soul Society along with a bunch of other ryoka a little while ago. He had helped her free her other friends so that he could fight Kurosaki Ichigo again. He had seen so much blood during their first fight. He liked blood.

Orihime thought for a moment before saying, "Yachiru-chan!" and hugging the small pink-haired girl back. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with Ken-chan on vacation!" Yachiru said, pointing to Zaraki, who was standing behind her. "But Ken-chan's boring. He just likes to race those funny looking things on wheels all the time."

Orihime laughed and looked up at the Shinigami in front of her. "Zaraki Kenpachi-san, right?" she said, prying her brain to see if she got the name right. "Oh, that's right! You and Yachiru-chan helped me rescue my friends when they got caught!" She smiled, proud that she actually remembered.

Zaraki just grunted. "I only helped you 'cause I wanted to fight that orange kid," he said, his arms crossed over his chest. "And I never even got to…" Seeing his look of disappointment at not being able to fight, Yachiru jumped up on his head. "Don't worry, Ken-chan! If Hime-chan is here, I'm sure Ichi-nii is here somewhere too!" Yachiru definitely had a unique way of naming people.

"Do you mean Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked as she stood up and brushed herself off. Lying on the ground all day wasn't something she normally did. "I think he's with Rukia-chan at the moment. Well, I guess he's always with Rukia-chan, seeing as how she lives with him. Oh! Do you have anywhere to stay?" She looked intently at the two, as if them not having a place to stay was the worst thing in the world.

Zaraki actually laughed. "Why the hell would we stay in a pathetic human's house? It's not like we're by choice; I'm just waiting for the next three freakin' weeks to be over so I can get the hell out of here."

"Aw, Ken-chan, that's mean!" Yachiru whined, playing with one of the bells on his head. Orihime, however, was unaffected by his insults; most likely, she was too dense to notice that he actually _was_ being insulted. "So that means you don't, right? Oh, I know!" She clapped her hand together excitedly. "Why don't you come and stay at my house? I live by myself, so no one will bother you or anything. What do you say?"

Zaraki stared at her. "You're joking, right?" he said, a look of pure confusion on his face. "Why the hell should we stay at _your_ house? You should be glad I don't just destroy it." For someone like Zaraki, who only knows how to fight, the concept of being kind didn't seem to enter his already damaged brain.

"Don't listen to Ken-chan, Hime-chan," Yachiru said, silently taking off one of Zaraki's bells and hiding it in her sleeve. "We'd love to come stay with you! It was cold last night, and Ken-chan made us sleep in a tree. And these weird flying things kept landing in my hair!"

"Shut up, Yachiru!" Zaraki said, failing to notice the absence of one of his precious bells. "I told you, they probably thought your head was a giant lollypop and were trying to eat it. And I never said that we wanted to stay with her!"

"Oh, but you can't sleep outside the whole time that you're here! That would be horrible!" Orihime said passionately. To her, the idea of sleeping in a tree for three whole weeks was as bad as aliens coming to take her back to her home planet. "I insist that you come and at least stay the night! I'm making my special ramen soup with pickles and hot chili sauce!"

Zaraki looked like he was about to puke at the very thought of her so-called meal. He wondered if he would be serving coconut tea with it. Yachiru, on the other hand, jumped up and down excitedly on his head. "That sounds yummy, Hime-chan!" She bent over so that her face was directly in Zaraki's. "Please, Ken-chan? Can we? Pretty please with a cherry on top? And whipped cream, and cookies, and-"

"Alright, alright! I give up!" Zaraki said. "We'll stay for one freakin' night, but that's it!" He sighed. He never had been good at saying no to his vice-captain. In front of him, Yachiru had jumped off his head and was jumping up and down with Orihime. He sighed again.

This was going to be a long three weeks, indeed.

* * *

And thus ends chapter one! Did you like it? Hate it? Couldn't are less? Please let me know by reviewing! This is kinda an experiment right now, and if no one likes it, I won't continue. Also, I know this chapter wasn't that funny, but it'll get better, I promise!

Thanks for reading!


	2. Of Fire and cats

Alright, since all three of the reviews I got for the first chapter encouraged me to continue, here is chapter two! The only problem is that, out of the three reviews, only one was signed! So, here are the replies to my anonymous readers.

Noc and NC: I'm glad you find it interesting! I haven't seen any KenHime fics either, so I figured, what the hell?

Hana: Again, I'm glad you found it interesting! As you requested, here's more!

And now, on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. -is being chased by Ken-chan for stealing his bell in the last disclaimer-

* * *

Zaraki now had another thing to add to his list of things he hated about Earth: cats.

For one thing, he was allergic to them. He didn't even know he _could_ be allergic to them, seeing as how he was dead. Although, they didn't have cats in Soul Society, so he had never really had any reason to think about it before.

He also had reason to believe that cats were really demons in disguise. The minute Orihime opened the door to her apartment, the little fur ball attacked him. It ran over to him and began to claw at the bottom of his Shihakusho (which he had insisted on wearing even while occupying a gigai). Now, as he soon found out, cats have claws, and very sharp ones at that. He felt a sharp pain on his leg as the creature's claws pierced through the clothing and scratched his skin instead. He kicked at it, but it seemed unaffected and decided to jump onto his shoulder, then to his head; soon it was batting at one of the many bells in his hair.

"No, Kaze-chan!" Orihime said, reaching up and attempting to pull her cat off the Shinigami's head; either she was too short or he was too tall, however, because, even when standing on her toes, she couldn't reach high enough to even touch the cat, let alone remove it from Zaraki's hair. Multiple veins throbbed on his forehead, more appearing when Yachiru decided to join in the fun by trying to pounce on the cat. She seemed to have forgotten that she was standing on his head, seeing as how she was literally _pouncing_ on the cat; when she missed, which was most of the time, she would come slamming down on top of his head, thus causing more damage to his already-injured brain.

It was an interesting sight: a man with spiky hair with bells scattered throughout the tangled mass; a pink haired girl chasing a cat in said hair; and a redheaded girl standing on her toes, her hands pressed firmly against the man's chest, trying to stop the madness. Yes, a very interesting sight indeed.

Zaraki's right eyebrow began to twitch uncontrollably. Once, then twice; it began moving in sync with the multiple throbbing veins on his forehead. It took everything in his power not to draw his Zanpakuto and kill every single one of the crazed people around him. He probably would have, had he not remembered Hitsugaya telling him that he wasn't allowed to kill anyone. _Damn that brat…_

Then it happened. During all the chaos happening on his head, one of his precious bells had been knocked loose. Time seemed to move in slow motion as it fell to the ground, gravity overtaking it as its speed rose and it clattered loudly on the cement. He snapped.

"Shut the hell up!" he yelled. Instantly, everyone fell silent: Orihime no longer called to her cat, Yachiru stopped giggling, and even the cat froze. All three must have been able to sense how badly he wanted to murder someone, for they all began to back away slowly; that is, of course, _after _Yachiru and 'Kaze-chan' had retreated off the angry Shinigami's head. All was silent, except for the sound of the trees rustling in the slight breeze.

"Gomen…" Orihime finally muttered, her cat huddled safely in her arms. "Kaze-chan doesn't usually do that. She just really likes shiny things…" She bent down and picked up the fallen bell, handing it out to him. Zaraki angrily snatched it out of her hand.

"Do you know how long it takes to get these just right?" he said, staring at the golden object in his hand. "My poor Midori…" Over the years, Zaraki had gotten into the habit of naming his bells, most of them having the names of colors. His personal favorite was poor little Midori, who was now lying helplessly in his palm.

"Oh no!" Orihime cried, as if seeing the fallen bell was the worst thing in the world. "We have to hurry and get her back in your hair before the evil space monkeys come and take her away!" She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him into her house. She had apparently decided that Midori was a girl. "The bathroom is right down the hall on the left. You can use the mirror to help poor Midori-chan!" When Zaraki just stood there, staring at her, she gave him a soft push towards the bathroom, and he reluctantly walked the rest of the way himself, closing the door behind him.

"Now then, I should start making the tea!" Orihime said happily, skipping towards the kitchen. Kaze-chan followed her, having jumped out of the protection of her arms when she had grabbed the confused Shinigami. She put the water on to boil, grabbed three cups from her cupboard, and set them on the table. Just as she was about to open a can of cat food, she heard a screech come from the living room.

She ran into the room, and found Yachiru playing with Kaze-chan. Well, her idea of playing, anyway. She had the poor creature pinned to the floor and was pulling her tail. Hard. Hard enough to make the cat produce strange noises, which had been what Orihime had heard seconds before.

"Ano, you shouldn't do that…" The female Hollow slayer said, just as Kaze-chan reached up and scratched the small vice-captain's hand. Yachiru squealed, releasing the cat, which immediately ran for some unknown part of the apartment. "Ah! Yachiru-chan!" Orihime said, rushing over. The pink-haired Shinigami sniffed as the older girl inspected the wound; in all appearances, she seemed to be a normal little girl, about to cry because some mean old kitty had scratched her. In this case, the mean old kitty must have been very pissed off, since the cuts were deep enough to draw blood. Orihime was just about to get her first-aid kit when…

"YACHIRU!" Zaraki yelled, banging open the bathroom door. Midori was back safely on his head, but the spike next to her stood empty. It was fairly obvious that, while returning his sacred bell back to its rightful place, he had noticed that another one was missing; the one that Yachiru had taken earlier. "What the hell did you do with Murasaki?"

"Ken-chan, look at what that mean thing did to me!" Yachiru said, holding up her hand; either she didn't hear her captain's shout, or she was ignoring him. Most likely the latter.

"This whole freakin' place is so screwed up!" Zaraki yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "When we get back to Soul Society, someone is going to die!" With him, this wasn't just some idle threat. He meant it. When he got back, heads were going to roll, and he already had a few people in mind.

Just then, Zaraki sniffed the air. "Is something burning?" he asked, giving Orihime a deadly stare. "The tea!" she gasped, running into the kitchen, only to be met by a column of black, billowing smoke. She looked towards the stove, and saw bright orange flames dancing where the teapot stood. It took a moment for things to click. Her house was on fire!

Zaraki and Yachiru were right behind her. "Holy shit!" Zaraki yelled, looking from the flames to the poor girl in front of him. "How the hell do you set your house on fire while making tea?" Yachiru was running in circles around the two, which was not helping things, and Orihime was just standing in the kitchen's entrance. "Well, don't just stand there! Go get water or something!" Zaraki yelled at her, which got her brain working; well, it would have, if she even _had _a brain.

She ran outside, grabbed a hose, and started spraying at the fire. Unfortunately, the two Shinigami were right in the line of fire, and got drenched along with the flames. Zaraki had a very pissed look on his face, while Yachiru continued running in circles while shouting, "Yay! It's raining!" until she ran into the wall.

By the time Orihime turned the hose off, her kitchen, as well as the two in it, was completely soaked. The good news was that the fire was out. The bad news was that she needed a new kitchen. The things that weren't burned were pretty much ruined by the water. Most of all, she needed a new teapot, considering that the one she had been using was now a pile of melted metal.

"Well," Zaraki said, his hair, which was normally sticking straight up, hanging in his face; drops of water kept falling on his nose. "I take it we won't be having tea?"

* * *

**Footnotes**

Gomen: Sorry

Midori: Green

Ano: Um/Excuse me

Murasaki: Violet

* * *

Ok, that was a short chapter, but…meh. I know I haven't even started the actually plot, but I'll get to that in the next one. Really. And, um, the hose just kind of appeared out of nowhere, incase you were wondering. It was delivered by the space monkeys. Also, I am aware that Orihime's cat's name means Wind. But, well, she's just weird enough to have a cat named Wind, so…yeah. And she does have a cat. Really. I'm not making that up. Yeah, well, I'm pretty much just rambling here, so go ahead and press the pretty little button on the bottom of the screen. You know you want to. 


	3. Of Abduction and Benadryl

Yay! More reviews! -laughs insanely and runs into a wall- Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far and encouraged me to continue! Now, let the insanity continue!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach. -chases Kaze-chan around-

* * *

Things were going well at Orihime's apartment. Zaraki had gotten his precious Murasaki back from Yachiru, Orihime had done some temporary repair work on her burnt kitchen, and the three now rested contently around her table, sipping tea that she had run out and bought, considering that, at the moment, her own teapot was a pile of ash. For the moment, things seemed peaceful.

It sure didn't last long.

"Ah! Look, Ken-chan! It's the evil kitty-thing!" Yachiru squealed, once again jumping on his head. He was really getting tired of her doing that. He sighed as he gently grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her off. "It won't hurt you as long as you don't piss it off," he said. "Remember?"

While Orihime had been cleaning up her kitchen, she had explained the wonders of cats to the two Shinigami. She told them how her beloved Kaze-chan was usually the sweetest cat in the world, and that the evil closet gnomes must have possessed her earlier. She also said that if you were nice to the cat, then the evil gnomes would stay hidden in her closet and wouldn't come out again. Translated, it basically meant, "Leave the cat the hell alone." Which was what they did.

However, it still scared the poor little vice-captain. She clung tightly to her captain's hand, staring at the scratch mark she had obtained earlier. She really didn't want to repeat the little incident, and so had taken to hiding behind Zaraki whenever the thing happened to come near.

"I'm really sorry about that," Orihime said, reaching out and petting Kaze-chan. Across the table, Zaraki sneezed. "Oh, Kenpachi-san! Are you allergic to cats?" she asked worriedly, noticing that his nose was quite red. "Oh! I think I have some allergy medicine somewhere. Let me see if I can find it! I hope the gnomes haven't stolen it…" She abruptly left the room in search of the container of Benadryl she thought she might possess.

_Is she weird, or is it just me?_ Zaraki thought as he watched the girl rush off into the depths of her home. He then glanced at Yachiru, who was happily munching on the watermelon Orihime had brought when she got the tea. She had black seeds all around her mouth, and was singing something about a llama. _Then again, who am I to judge?_

"Ta-da!" Orihime said, popping out of the bathroom holding a red-and-white bottle. "I found it! It's supposed to reduce sneezing, watering or itchy eyes, a runny nose, and an itchy throat." She said this proudly, as if she was the actual creator of the magical medicine known as Benadryl. She took out a pill, which was the same colors as its container, and handed it to him.

Zaraki looked at it for a moment. "Why is it so colorful?" he asked finally. He wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of swallowing something that could be the mascot of the United States of America, had it only contained one more color. "In Soul Society, all our pills are white. Are you sure this won't make me turn colors or something?"

Orihime laughed. "Of course it won't, silly!" she said, grabbing the bottle and taking out another pill. "If it makes you feel better, I'll take one first." She popped the small capsule into her mouth and swallowed it with a gulp of tea. "See?"

"Hey! Isn't that dangerous, taking those things when you don't have to?" Zaraki said, glancing from his own pill to the female Hollow slayer in front of him. "I mean, what if it gives you a heart attack or something? Shit, what if I'm blamed for it? In case I haven't told you, I'm not allowed to kill anyone while I'm here. If they think I gave you a freakin' heart attack, who knows that they'll do to me?" He began rambling about random punishments he could get for killing her; somehow, cows made their way into possible consequences.

"Um, Kenpachi-san?" Orihime said, interrupting his rambling. "I'm fine. I'm not having a heart attack or turning purple or anything. It's only bad if you take, like, fifty of them at once. Just taking one won't do anything." She pushed his cup of tea towards him. "Go ahead and take yours. It'll help you feel better. Really."

Zaraki raised one eyebrow suspiciously, but decided to take the pill nonetheless. He figured that if he was going to turn purple or something, he'd rather do it without a sore nose. After he swallowed it, he sat there for a few minutes, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he breathed a silent sigh of relief and began munching on watermelon.

"See? Nothing happened!" Orihime said cheerfully, biting into her own juicy slice. "You should take one every twenty-four hours for them to stay in effect. I'm sure you'll feel better in no time!" As she talked, she stroked Kaze-chan's fur lovingly, causing the cat to purr loudly in her lap.

"Wait a minute," Zaraki said, setting down his watermelon. "You're talking like we're going to be living here or something. I told you, we're only staying the night, and no longer."

"Aw, Ken-chan!" Yachiru whined. "Why can't we stay here for awhile? It's not like we have anywhere else to go, right?" Before he could answer, however, there was a sharp knock on the door.

"Coming!" Orihime called, bouncing over to the door. She certainly didn't seem bothered by the fact that, just a mere hour before, her kitchen had been on fire. She opened the door, and let out a small squeal. "Kurosaki-kun! Ishida-kun! What are you doing here?"

In her doorway stood two boys, each wearing a uniform from her school. One had bright orange hair; he was Kurosaki Ichigo, a Shinigami Representative with immense spiritual power. The other had black hair and wore large glasses on his face, which he constantly adjusted with his middle and fore finger: Ishida Uryuu, the last remaining Quincy and Orihime's fellow Hollow-slaying friend.

"Yo, Inoue!" Ichigo said, bringing his hand up in a small wave. "We were both taking a walk and happened to meet up with each other, but we figured it was pitiful for two guys to be hanging out all alone on a Friday night. Then we remembered that you live all alone, so we stopped at the store and bought some stuff." He pointed to a bag that Ishida was carrying. "We figured we could have dinner together or something."

"Actually, it was all Kurosaki's idea," Ishida said, pushing his glasses up his nose for the fifth time since he had been standing in Orihime's doorway. "The fact that I happened to be with him is pure coincidence." His gaze traveled past the big bosomed girl and into her apartment. "What, may I ask, is a Shinigami doing in your home?"

"What?" Ichigo said, pushing Ishida to the side to get a better look. His face paled when he saw who the Shinigami was; well, technically, there were two of them, but he couldn't see the smaller one, who was hidden behind her large captain. "Shit, what the hell is he doing here?"

As if on cue, Zaraki turned and looked to see what was taking his host so long at the door. His eyes widened and a large grin spread across his face when he saw who the late-night visitor was. "Well, well, long time no see, eh, _Kurosaki Ichigo_?" he said, putting great emphasis on the orange-headed boy's name. "Did you miss me?"

"Like hell I did," Ichigo said. "Um…" He scratched his head. _What was his name again? Ken-something. Kendo? Wait, that's the thing with wooden swords. Aw, hell, I suck at names!_ "Uh, yeah, what was your name again?"

Zaraki's eyebrow twitched. "You _forgot_ who I am?" He said angrily. "We freakin' fought in Soul Society and you _forgot my damn name?_" He was standing up now, his hand placed on the hilt of his Zanpakuto. "Come on, let's go! I want a rematch! You won't beat me again!"

"Heh. Bring it on!" Ichigo said, clutching the pendant that would let him become a Shinigami. A moment later, Ichigo stood in the black robes of a Death God, his body lying lifelessly beside him. Zaraki lunged at him, apparently forgetting that he was in a gigai and could only fight at half his strength, at best. The sound of metal clashing with metal sounded as their swords met.

"Moron," Ishida muttered, adjusting his glasses yet again. "If you must fight, could you at least take it off of Inoue-san's porch?" _Oh. That's a good idea,_ Ichigo thought, jumping away from his opponent and onto the ground below. Zaraki followed him, and soon the two were at it again. "My name is Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of the Eleventh Division. Remember it, brat!"

"Kurosaki-kun! Kenpachi-san!" Orihime yelled worriedly, leaning over the railing to watch. "Please stop fighting!"

"Don't worry about it, Hime-oneechan," Yachiru said, giving Orihime another new nickname. "This has happened before. Let them fight it out; it'll be over soon." She climbed onto Orihime's back, leaning her arms on the larger girl's head to get a better view of the battle.

"She's right," Ishida said, standing beside them. "They're both idiots. When two idiots fight each other, it most likely won't end in anything but a few bruises, or a few broken bones at worst."

"Broken bones!" Orihime shrieked, her worry increasing. She began running back and forth on her front porch, only stopping when she felt Ishida's hand on her shoulder. "It was a joke, Inoue-san," he said, once again pushing his glasses up his nose.

"A…joke?" Orihime hadn't known Ishida was _capable_ of being anything but serious. She had to smile at his lame attempt to calm her down. She decided to just wait with him and Yachiru for the battle to end, hoping that neither of the two fighters would get hurt too badly; if they did, though, she could always heal them later.

The battle ended sooner than expected, however. Right as the two were charging at each other for about the tenth time, there was a bright light, and the sky began to change colors. "What the hell?" Ichigo said, staring at the sky. In a matter of seconds, it had changed from the light red and orange from the setting sun to a deep purple. The weirdest part was that it wasn't the whole sky; it was one circular part that seemed to be swirling.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime said, as she, Ishida, and Yachiru ran down to join the two on the ground; Yachiru went over to Zaraki while the other two ran over to Ichigo. All of them had their eyes intently fixed on the sky, which was now swirling violently. "Wow, the sky's a pretty color, Ken-chan!" Yachiru squealed, taking her usual place on his back.

Ichigo was so focused on the sky that he failed to notice that he was slowly being pulled it. It wasn't until he heard Orihime's startled cry that he tore his gaze away from the purpleness, and saw that he was about five feet in the air. With a quick glance to his left, he saw that Ishida was in a similar predicament. The higher they rose in the air, the faster they were pulled into the abyss.

When he noticed this, Zaraki had enough sense to thrust his sword into the ground and grasp it tightly, so as not to get caught in the force; which was amazing, really, considering the amount of brain cells he had lost over the years. However, Yachiru wasn't as lucky; she was also pulled into the air. "Eek! Ken-chan!" she screamed as she was pulled higher and closer to the hole in the sky.

"Kurosaki-kun! Ishida-kun! Yachiru-chan!" Orihime yelled as she, too, was lifted partially off the ground.

"Hell no!" Zaraki said, reaching out and grabbing her arm as she was flying past him. "You are _not_ leaving me alone in this goddamn world, got it?" He pulled her down and told her to grab his Zanpakuto; she did, and after a moment, the void in the sky was gone, and they no longer had to resist being pulled in. Their friends, however, were gone as well.

"Well, this sucks."

* * *

Yay! The actual plot is starting! And, now that school is out for the summer, I'll be able to update more! Anyway, I have no idea how long this will be. I'm just kinda doing whatever the hell I want with it. Do they even have Benadryl in Japan? As always, please review. They make me want to update faster! -hint hint-

Ja ne!


	4. Of Dimension and Trees

Be afraid, be _very_ afraid. It's the return of…Kazumi! -evil music plays- For those of you who have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, he's my psycho OC from my HitsuHina fic. He likes to lick people and say they taste good, and now he's back! Ha ha! -gets whacked by Hyourinmaru- Hey, you're not even in this story, Shirou-chan!

Hitsugaya: Yes I am. I was in the first chapter. And I'm in this one, too.

Erm, right…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. But I own…Pudding! Ha!

"Hey, Ken-chan, where do you think Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun, and Yachiru-chan went?" Orihime asked, sipping her now-cold tea. She had added pickle juice to make it taste better, but she would have preferred it warm.

"I don't…Hey! Who said you could call me Ken-chan?"

"Well, Yachiru-chan does all the time, so I thought it would be ok…"

Zaraki sighed. "Whatever," he muttered, sipping his own tea. Orihime had offered to share her pickle juice with him, but that sounded almost as disgusting as the coconut tea, so he decided to just drink it plain. Of course, he mentioned that they could have heated it up in the microwave or something if she hadn't set the kitchen on fire. He still didn't know how someone did that while making tea, of all things.

"Well, I guess we should figure out how to get them back," he said. "I don't give a shit about Kurosaki and the glasses dude, but Yachiru is my vice-captain and I'll have to face hell when I go back to Soul Society if I can't find her." Deep down, he really did care for the pink-haired girl; he just hated to show it. "I should probably let Soul Society know about this while I'm at it. Not that I know how to get in touch with them…"

"Oh, I know!" Orihime squealed, bouncing up and down. "Urahara-san might be able to help! I think Yoruichi-san is staying with him, and she keeps in touch with Soi Fon-san a lot, so I'll bet we can get in touch there!"

Zaraki noticed that she put -san at the end of everyone's name, and figured he must be very special to now be considered 'Ken-chan'. Still, the fact that the carefree girl was actually getting closer to him didn't exactly make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. _Well, I guess I'll go see this Urahara guy. The sooner I find Yachiru, the sooner I can get the hell out of here._ "Alright, let's get this over with."

----------

_Great. Of all the people that I could have talked to, it had to be…_

"What do you want, Zaraki?" Hitsugaya asked, annoyed at the fact that he had just been woken up in the middle of the night. Urahara indeed had a machine that could contact Soul Society, but they had to wait for over two hours for Jinta to get off the internet, since it was apparently related to the phone or something and wouldn't connect otherwise. Then, after Jinta had finally gotten off the computer, Uraraha had forgotten how to use the damn thing, and that had taken another hour or so. By the time they had finally gotten it to work, it was a little after midnight; which explained why the small Tenth Division captain was so annoyed.

"Hello, Toushirou-kun!" Orihime said, peering into the monitor to speak to Hitsugaya, who only grunted back. "I'm sorry, did we wake you up?" As if the pajamas and night cap he had on weren't proof enough.

"Who the hell cares," Zaraki said. "Unless the little brat needs to get his beauty sleep?" Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched. "Zaraki, you'd better be thankful that you're on Earth right now, and I'm still in Soul Society."

"Oh, I'm so scared of the little brat!" Zaraki said. He was enjoying making the small captain angry.

"Um, Ken-chan? Toushirou-kun?" Orihime said, hoping to stop their arguing. "Would you two please stop fighting?"

"I'm a captain, dammit!" Hitsugaya yelled through the screen, finally reaching his limit. "Don't call me Toushirou-kun!" Orihime looked hurt. "I-I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-san…"

"Ah! Wait, that's not what I meant…" Hitsugaya hung his head in defeat. "I just can't win tonight, can I?" He sighed. "Alright, so what do you guys need?"

So the two took turns telling the sleepy captain what had happened: how the two Shinigami had decided to stay at Orihime's place for the night; how Ichigo and Zaraki had started fighting; and how the sky suddenly become purple and swallowed Ichigo, Ishida, and Yachiru up. While listening to the story, Hitsugaya had a thought.

"What about that other ryoka?" he asked. "The big one with the giant arm. What happened to him?" Orihime thought a moment. "I think he's in Mexico visiting relatives or something like that." She was close, anyway; he was actually in Mexico visiting his grandfather's grave.

"Alright, so I guess it's safe to assume that he wasn't captured as well," Hitsugaya said. "I'll go tell Yamamoto-taichou about this. He'll probably send some backup tomorrow or something. Good night, Inoue, _Ken-chan._" He gave a small smirk and disconnected the link before Zaraki could say something back.

----------

"Hell no!"

It was the next day, and Soul Society had sent backup as promised. He arrived quite fast too; standing in front of them was none other than Hitsugaya Toushirou. Needless to say, neither of the two Shinigami were very happy about this; hence, Zaraki's earlier comment.

"Off all the Shinigami in Soul Society, why did they have to send you?" the Eleventh Division captain said, continuing his rant. Hitsugaya folded his arms across the chest. "Maybe because _I _was the one that you woke up in the middle of the night to tell all this too!"

"Don't you dare blame this on me!" Zaraki yelled. "It's not like I could control who that damn thing contacted!" Hitsugaya was about to shout a comeback when Orihime butted in. "Um, Ken-chan? Can we move on to _why_ Hitsugaya-san is here?"

Grumbling, Zaraki nodded. After sending the irritated captain a quick glare, Hitsugaya began his explanation. "Apparently, something like this happened about a hundred years ago. Several of the Shinigami that were here at the time were sucked into the sky, just as you described. Only those with high spiritual power seem to be affected by it. In any case, your friends seem to have been taken into another dimension.

"Why? Orihime asked, her voice filled with worry. "How do we get them back?"

"Calm down," Hitsugaya said. "Because this already happened before, we know how to get to the other world." He pulled out a small purple ball out of his pocket. "All we have to do is break this, and it'll take us there." Zaraki chuckled, which resulted in yet another glare from Hitsugaya. "What now?"

"Why is it…purple?" Zaraki said, his chuckle turning to a full-out laugh. A vein throbbed violently on the small captain's head. "How the hell should I know?" he yelled angrily. "Now do you want my help or not?"

"Yes, we do, Hitsugaya-kun!" Orihime said, failing to remember to call him '-san'. She reached out and grabbed his hands, holding them tightly in her own. "Please help them!" Hitsugaya blushed slightly. "Ok, ok, just let go of me!" he said; he may have been a captain, but he was still young.

Orihime did as she was told. "Yay!" she yelled, throwing her hands into the air excitedly. _Damn, just watching her makes me tired, _Zaraki thought. He turned to Hitsugaya. "Alright, let's get this over with," he said.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Hitsugaya said, throwing the ball onto the ground; it shattered to pieces, and instantly a bright light began to swirl around them. Soon they were enveloped in the glow, and were in the other dimension.

They stood in a green meadow, with brightly colored flowers and lush green trees; it wasn't exactly what they had expected. "What the hell is this?" Zaraki asked, looking around with disgust. "Did Yachiru design this place or something? All the freakin' flowers are pink!"

"They're so pretty!" Orihime said, bending down to sniff one. Hitsugaya sighed. "This must be where Yachiru is," he said. Orihime and Zaraki both sent him questioning looks; well, Zaraki's was more of a glare. "Let me explain. The lord of this realm, Kazumi, makes it so that the people he's captured don't want to leave. He creates a dream world out of their memories. So, judging from the surroundings, I'd say this is the world that he put Yachiru in."

"Well, if she is here, there's no way in hell she's leaving," Zaraki said. "She likes pink things way too much. In a whole freakin' world filled with the damn color, I don't think we'll be able to convince her to leave." As he talked, he had been trying to stifle a yawn, but it didn't work too well; when he was done speaking, the yawn escaped his mouth "Eh? Why am I so tired?"

"Oh, it must be the Benadryl," Orihime said. Hitsugaya looked at her. "Bena-what?"

"Benadryl. It's allergy medicine," Orihime explained. "It helps cure a stuffy nose or a sore throat and such, but it makes you sleepy too. I wonder why it took so long to work, though. Maybe it's because he's a Shinigami, or maybe he's an alien…" she went on to list the possible reasons that the allergy medicine could have taken so long to take effect.

"Oh?" Hitsugaya said, raising an eyebrow. "And just what is he allergic to?"

"Cats."

The young captain looked at his fellow Shinigami. "You're allergic to…cats?" He said, a smirk on his face.

"S-shut up! It's not like it's my fault!" Zaraki said, yawning again. "Dammit! Why the hell didn't you tell me that damn medicine would make me tired?" He yelled, pointing a finger angrily at Orihime. "This is all your stupid cat's fault, anyway!"

"Don't blame Kaze-chan! It's not her fault!" Orihime said back, which wasn't like her; she almost never got mad at anything, especially just one comment. Zaraki was surprised, and looked over at Hitsugaya. "Yo, twerp, is there something else you…didn't…tell…us?" His voice broke as he stared at the small captain.

Hitsugaya's face was bright red, and he was swaying slightly. Every few seconds he would hiccup, and he had a dazed smile on his face. "Holy shit!" Zaraki said, recognizing the symptoms he was showing. "He's drunk!"

"Really?" Orihime said, going over to the 'drunk' captain. She grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him. "Hey, Toushirou-chan! Are you really drunk? Can I have some?" Zaraki just stared at them. "They've gone crazy!" He said to himself, looking around at all the flowers. "Maybe it's all those damn flowers. But then, why aren't I affected?"

"Maybe it's because you're already crazy," said a voice. He turned, and saw a man standing behind him. He had black hair that went just below his shoulders, and his dark clothes matched the black cloak that swirled around him. He also had a large grin plastered on his face, and was chuckling slightly at his own joke.

"Who the hell are you?" Zaraki asked, glaring at the stranger. "And who are you calling crazy?" His hand rested on his Zanpakuto's hilt. "If it's a fight you want, then bring it on!"

The man laughed. "Oh no, I do not wish to fight; at least not yet. I merely came to watch." He gestured to Orihime and Hitsugaya: the small captain was still acting like he was drunk and appeared to be making out with a tree, and Orihime was clucking like a chicken while singing something about a pidgeon. "You see, I am Kazumi, the lord of this world." He swiftly bent down and picked a flower, smelling it lovingly. "I see my lovely flowers have begun to affect your friends. That little pink-haired girl has quite the imagination, doesn't he?" He chuckled again.

"What the hell did you do with Yachiru?" Zaraki yelled, seconds away from drawing his sword. Kazumi noticed this, and, reaching out, he poked Zaraki's arm. The Eleventh Division captain couldn't move, and could only continue to glare at the demented lord. "Now, now, we can't have that, now can we?" Kazumi said, dancing in a circle. He snapped his fingers, releasing the spell. "I told you, I'm here to watch, not fight. Now, if I were you, I'd start helping your companions; although it looks like the short one is becoming very friendly with his new friend." Zaraki, now freed from the curse, turned, and saw Hitsugaya practically kissing the tree.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be going," Kazumi said, as he disappeared directly in front of Zaraki. "But I'll make you a deal. If you can find all three of your friends within three hours, then I'll fight you. Bye Bye!" And with that, he was gone.

"Shit," Zaraki said, looking around at his two so-called 'friends'. "I guess I'll start with the brat, before he really does something to the tree." He walked over to Hitsugaya, who was lovingly hugging the tree. "Come on, twerp, time to go." He reached out and grabbed the small captain's collar, dragging him away.

"But Pudding-chan and I were just -hic- getting to know each other!" Hitsugaya protested. Zaraki sighed. "Yeah, yeah, we'll make the wedding arrangements later," he said, going over to Orihime. The female Hollow slayer had stopped her clucking and singing and was now hopping around on all fours while ribbiting like a frog. He reached out and grabbed her as well, then proceeded to hit them both on the head with his fist.

"Ow! Ken-chan, what was that for?" Orihime said, holding her head; beside her, Hitsugaya did the same, only he was glaring at Zaraki as well.

"Hey, don't glare at me," Zaraki said, scratching his head, annoyed. "You were the one making out with a freakin' tree." Hitsugaya turned bright red. "What the hell are you talking about?" he yelled.

"You called her Pudding-chan." Zaraki said, then proceeded to tell the Tenth Division captain all about his romance with Pudding the tree.

* * *

O-k, that was the weirdest thing I've ever written. And Kazumi is just as insane as ever, but at least he's not going around licking people this time. Right, Shirou-chan?

Hitsugaya: ….

What's your problem?

Hitsugaya: What do you think? You made me fall in love with a blasted tree! Do you even _know_ what this will do to my popularity with the fans? And what if Momo finds out?

Aw, don't worry, Shirou-chan! I still love you! -pounces on Hitsugaya- Don't forget to review, everyone!


	5. Of Yachiru and Blood

Wow, this chapter took longer than I thought to get out. Curse me and my overactive imagination that made me create another new story. Anyway, I'll still try my hardest to get these chapters out! Also, thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. RIP Pudding-chan…

* * *

Hitsugaya took great care to make sure that his 'Pudding-chan' suffered a horrible death.

First he froze her using Hyourinmaru; he came dangerously close to freezing Zaraki along with her, but managed not to after Orihime's persuading. Next, he blasted her with countless kidou spells that not only crushed the ice but set her on fire as well. Finally, he used Hyourinmaru one last time to blow her to tiny, microscopic pieces. He thought it was a fitting end.

Throughout the whole event, Orihime and Zaraki said nothing and only watched (aside from when Orihime asked him not to kill the Eleventh Division captain). Zaraki couldn't remember the last time he saw Hitsugaya so pissed off at any one individual; well, except maybe him. Although, if you think about it, being caught practically molesting a tree would be embarrassing enough to kill the poor bastard, even if you were intoxicated on flowers at the time.

When Pudding-chan was officially dead, the small captain sheathed his Zanpakuto, then turned and _smiled._ Now, this wasn't a friendly 'Let's go out to lunch!' smile; no, this was a 'Say anything and you die' smile. "Now, shall we continue looking for the others?" he said in an overly cheerful voice. At this point, Zaraki was officially creeped out.

"Um, Hitsugaya-kun?" Orihime asked tentatively. "Are you ok?" The captain turned to look at her. "I'm just fine, Inoue. What makes you think I'm not?" As he spoke, the temperature dropped about thirty degrees. "Um, no reason," Orihime replied, backing away slowly.

"Good. Now, shall we go?" Hitsugaya asked in the same cheerful voice; he then began walking away, but not before throwing a shoe at Zaraki's head. Where the shoe had come from, Zaraki had no idea, but he figured it would be better not to ask.

Orihime took the news of her strange behavior much better than her companion. When told that she had been clucking like a chicken, hopping like a frog, and singing about pigeons, she had only blushed and said, "I like animals."

"I wonder how long until these freaky flowers start making you crazy again," Zaraki wondered, glaring at all the pinkness on the ground. Hitsugaya glared at him. "I don't know, and I don't care." Well, so much for _that_ conversation. Of course, all the flowers the small captain walked on instantly turned to ice, so that may be why they weren't having any effect at the moment.

"Um, where are we going?" Orihime asked. "I mean, how do we know that Yachiru-chan is this way?" Hitsugaya didn't even turn around as he said, "We don't." Attempt number two at conversation had failed as well. Zaraki and Orihime looked at each other.

"Why is Hitsugaya-kun so angry?"

"Cause he has a stick up his ass."

"Excuse me?" Slowly and calmly, Hitsugaya turned and smiled again. "Did you say something, Zaraki?"

"If I say yes, will you try to kill me?"

"Most likely."

"Then no, I didn't." Zaraki wasn't exactly _afraid_ of fighting the small captain; he just didn't want to do it when his opponent was already dangerously close to killing the nearest living thing. Which, in this case, would most likely be either him or Orihime, and in his rage, Zaraki doubted he would hesitate before hurting his female companion.

They walked in silence for awhile, the landscape never changing, aside from a few random trees, which, surprisingly, weren't pink, but green with lush leaves and the occasional fruits. In the calm, peaceful world, Hitsugaya seemed to calm down and was no longer freezing everything he touched. Then, just before he was about to suggest that they may have gone the wrong way, he noticed a large tree ahead of them.

"Wow!" Orihime said, running up to it. "It's so pretty!" Indeed, it was. The large trunk was partially hidden by the leafy vines that were its branches. Embedded within the leaves were small, pink flower buds that were so close to opening but had yet to bloom. The large plant extended many meters into the air; it was so tall, in fact, that Orihime had to strain her neck to see the top. When she did, however, she gasped at what she saw: at the very top of the tree was a large flower, fully in bloom…that was dripping blood. The drops were caught in the array of branches below, so they didn't hit the ground; but Orihime backed away from the tree all the same.

"It's really no surprise," Zaraki said, walking up behind her. "This is Yachiru's mind, after all. Before we met, all she saw was blood. It's no wonder that a world made from her memories would have something like this in it."

"B-but Yachiru-chan is so…carefree," Orihime stammered, her shock from seeing the thing in front of her slowly ebbing away. "I just doesn't seem right that she has something so…horrifying hidden inside her."

"It does make sense, if you think about it," Hitsugaya said, walking up to the tree and placing a hand on its trunk. "Even the most cheerful person often has something painful they're hiding." He shot the girl a quick glance, knowing that she was the same way.

Orihime was silent as she thought about her brother. Was she really so happy and energetic all the time just to hide her pain from those around her? _No,_ she thought, shaking her head. _I know that my brother is always watching me, and I want to share all my good experiences with him! I can't let myself be sad, because I know it affects him as well._ A small smile crept onto her face as she realized that she already knew this; she had told her brother the same thing when he came back as a Hollow and tried to kill her.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice the man that was staring at her. Zaraki was watching her closely, noticing the brief moment of sadness on her face. _She's a lot like Yachiru,_ he thought, a bit surprised at the sudden comparison. _They're both annoyingly happy most of the time, but sometimes their pain shows through their smiles._ Had anyone else heard his thoughts, they would have been thoroughly shocked at the complexness of them; after all, most people probably thought that all his thoughts revolved sorely around killing, and any other feelings that entered his mind were immediately discarded. One could also say the same for Yachiru, whose mind they surely thought contained nothing more than thoughts on candy or other sweets that she would later consume.

"We should get going," Hitsugaya said, interrupting both of their thoughts. "Zaraki, didn't that Kazumi guy say we only had three hours to find them? Who knows how much time it's already been. We don't even know if time is kept the same way as Earth or Soul Society."

"We're getting close," Zaraki said confidently. He pointed to the tree. "That thing's a sure sign. My guess is the closer we get to blood, the closer we are to her. She's always had a strange obsession with it. Hell, I'm sure she'd take a bubble bath in it if she could."

Orihime's face paled in disgust. _Could Yachiru-chan really be like that?_ She wondered, not even wanting to imagine was other grotesque things were waiting were for them. She chanced another glance at the tree, and realized it really was pretty…in a very disturbing kind of way.

* * *

Yachiru sat humming quietly on the bank of a lake, her feet swinging over the edge and dangling above the liquid. She glanced out at the sea of red contently, as if she'd like nothing more than to stare at a pond full of blood all day. She absentmindedly picked a pink flower and began ripping of its petals one by one, throwing them casually into the sea in front of her. The petals would slowly drift down, blowing slightly in the small breeze, then settle gently on the surface of the blood. This process was repeated until the flower was bare, and all that remained was the stem. She sighed as she tossed it into the lake as well, then stood and stretched.

She liked it there, wherever 'there' was, though she couldn't help but feel lonely. It was as though she was missing something, or more like someone, but she couldn't place her finger on it. As she was contemplating who that someone was, she heard the sound of footsteps behind her, and turned.

"Ken-chan!" she squealed, her face glowing with happiness as she flung her tiny arms around his neck. Then her face hardened as she wondered why she hadn't thought of him before; she realized he was the person she had been longing for. It disturbed her that she had forgotten about him, of all people; he was like her knight in shiny red armor.

"Well, at least we finally found you," Zaraki said, gently peeling the small girl off him. "I figured that if we followed that giant river of blood we'd find you sooner or later." Indeed, stretching from the far side of the pond to only a little ways from the tree was a large, winding river of the red liquid. Both Hitsugaya and Orihime were close to horrified at this (Orihime had almost fainted. She never had been good with blood), but Zaraki found it quite amusing.

"Ken-chan, isn't this place cool?" Yachiru said, tugging on his hand to bring him over to the lake's edge. "I wish we could just stay here forever, just me and you!" She seemed to have forgotten the fact that they weren't the only two there; Hitsugaya and Orihime were standing a ways away, trying not to breathe in the sick stench of blood.

"I'm sure you would love to stay," Zaraki began, "but this place isn't even real. It's a world created from your imagination." At Yachiru's blank look, he thought of something. "Wait, do you even remember what happened before you got here?"

The small vice-captain shook her head. "Nope," she said, bending down and picking another flower; Zaraki was glad to see there were less of them near the lake. "It's weird; I couldn't even remember you before you came. And you're the person most important to me! I can't even imagine why I wouldn't remember you, Ken-chan!" She sounded worried, as if he would be mad at her for forgetting.

Instead, Zaraki just stared at her with a 'What the hell is going on?" look on his face. He was about to say something when Hitsugaya spoke up.

"I may have forgotten to mention that Kazumi loves to play with people's memories," he said, slightly embarrassed for just remembering. Of course, finding out that he was trying to make out with a tree didn't exactly help him remember this important information.

"What does that mean, you 'may have forgotten'?" Zaraki yelled, multiple veins throbbing on his forehead. "Don't you think that may have been a little important? Yachiru barely remembers me!" His hands were unconsciously balled into fists; now _he_ was the one about to kill someone.

"Ken-chan, what's shorty-chan talking about?" Yachiru said, tugging on his sleeve. "Who's this Kazu-chan guy?" Zaraki hardly thought the demented lord deserved a nickname, but answered nonetheless. "Um, Kazu-chan is the evil guy who brought you here."

Yachiru shook her head. "No, Ken-chan! Kazu-chan can't be evil! He brought me to this fun place, didn't he?" Zaraki sighed. "Of course he is, Yachiru," he said as calmly as he could. "He kidnapped you to bring you here. Does that sound nice to you?" When Yachiru hesitated, he added, "You trust me, don't you?"

The small vice-captain nodded. "Of course I do! I trust Ken-chan more than anyone in the world! I do!" Yachiru said, tugging on her captain's sleeve vigorously. Then, Zaraki did something strange for him; he smiled. "Well then, let's go," he said, holding out his hand. Yachiru smiled happily, then reached out and took it.

As they did this, the world of flowers and blood disappeared, and they were standing in darkness.

* * *

Ok, I know this chapter was pretty boring and not very funny, but the next one will be better, I promise! We get to see…Ishida's world! Muhahaha! Yes, that will be fun…Oh, and don't worry. In the next chapter, Zaraki and Orihime will be all alone for awhile. Why? You'll just have to wait and find out!

As always, please review. Your reviews encourage me to want to write sooner! -hint hint-

Ja ne!


	6. Of Seriousness and Sewing

Gomen nasai, minna-san! Hontou ni gomen nasai! I know I haven't updated in over a year, and you all have a right to hate me. But at least I'm finally updating, right? This story will probably end in a few chapters, and I'm going to make it my top priority to get it done, even with school starting. So please enjoy the long-awaited chapter six _Of Bells and Fairies!_

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Bleach, everyone would kill me because I would take too long to get the next manga chapter out.

"Hey, Ken-chan?"

"What?" Zaraki grunted. He had long since stopped correcting Orihime on the way she addressed him, deciding to keep his annoyance to himself.

"Do you think Toushirou-kun and Yachiru-chan are doing alright?" Orihime asked, her brow furrowed in worry. "Maybe it would have been better if I went with Toushirou-kun after all, since you and Yachiru-chan get along so well…"

"The brat chose to go with Yachiru, so let him deal with her for awhile," Zaraki replied. Of course, he may have _helped_ in Hitsugaya's decision to go alone with the pink-haired vice-captain…

----------

"_Shit," Zaraki said as they reached a forked path. After they had found Yachiru, the pink-colored world had disappeared and been replaced with one that seemed relatively normal: there was a large field filled with flowers and grass (none of which were pink, to Zaraki's relief), and a small dirt path that wound through it. The only thing that seemed unnatural about it was that it appeared that the path had never been touched by a living thing._

_Not having any better idea of what to do, they followed the path until the path split into two directions. The group had stared at the two roads until Zaraki made the aforementioned comment._

"_Well, that pretty much sums things up," Hitsugaya said dryly. "I suppose we'll have to split into two groups now. What a pain."_

"_I want to go with Ken-chan!" Yachiru squealed as she absentmindedly played with one of her captain's bells. Zaraki scowled. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to go with his vice-captain; it was just that she had a tendency to get them horribly lost, and he would rather get to wherever their destination was without any unnecessary detours._

_He was debating over whether he should come right out and say that he didn't want to go with her when he got an idea. "Well, if we go together, then the brat and the girl will be all alone."_

"_And?" Hitsugaya said, arching an eyebrow._

"_It's nothing personal, but I'd feel better if she wasn't with you," Zaraki said, feeling pleased when he saw a vein pop on the small captain's forehead._

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Hitsugaya hissed, the temperature dropping quite a bit. _

"_I'm just saying that it would be better if she was in more…capable hands," Zaraki continued, briefly wondering if he should be writing a will at the moment. "If you think about it, it takes a bit of time to release your Zanpakutou, right? That freak Kazumi is pretty damn fast, and you never know what could happen while you're wasting time with your sword."_

_Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched dangerously. "So you're basically saying that you can do a better job of protecting Inoue than I can?"_

"_Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."_

"_Well, if you want to prove it so badly, then go ahead and take her," the white-haired captain snorted. "It's not like I care who I go with, as long as we get out of this stupid place soon." He had turned around and started walking towards the path on the left before he had even stopped talking, not really caring if Yachiru followed or not._

"_So…does that mean I'm going with Shorty?" the pink-haired girl asked, looking up at Zaraki. He just gave a grunt that Yachiru decided meant yes, and took off running after Hitsugaya, leaving Orihime and Zaraki alone to take the other path._

_----------_

"The squirt's pretty much a kid himself, so I'm sure the two will get along just fine," Zaraki continued, trying to ease his companion's worries. "Besides, it's his own damn fault for getting so worked up." The last part was muttered under his breath so that Orihime wouldn't hear; not that he had any room to talk with a hot temper of his own.

Orihime looked up at Zaraki, smiling slightly at his attempts to cheer her up. "I guess you're right," she said, then, after a short pause, "I'm actually surprised that you and Yachiru-chan get along so well."

"Yeah, well, a lot of shit happened a long time ago," Zaraki said, recalling how he and his vice-captain had met. "Even though it may not look like it, she's been through the same hell as me." He didn't elaborate, and Orihime didn't press him. "You've been through a lot, too, haven't you?"

Orihime was surprised by his question. "W-what do you mean?" she asked as the smile on her face wavered slightly.

"When you heard about Yachiru earlier, you were thinking about something painful, weren't you?" Zaraki refused to look at her, and talked as if he were indifferent to the conversation, when in reality he was extremely curious to see if he could get the girl to open up, even just a little bit. "You two seem to be a lot a like, the way you're always cheerful despite things that happened in the past."

"The happiness isn't fake, though, if that's what you're thinking," Orihime said. Her eyes seemed to take on a distant look as she spoke. "I think we're happy _because_ we both experienced sad things. When I was younger, by brother was killed in an accident. He was the only family I had left. I was depressed afterward, of course, but after awhile I realized that there was no point in being sad; that that's not the way he would have wanted things. I was alive, and he would want me to live my life to the fullest and be as happy as possible."

Zaraki finally turned to stare at her. While he had thought that there was more to Orihime beneath her smile, he had never expected an ordinary human who didn't live through the violence he had to have something like that buried inside of her. It occurred to him that not only were she and Yachiru alike, but he and Orihime were as well, if not only in the way that they were both left alone in the world.

Instinctively he stopped, causing Orihime to almost bump into him. He turned to face her and placed a large hand on her head. "Silly girl. I could care less about what your brother would have wanted you to be like. If you're not happy for yourself, then it's pointless."

Orihime closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of Zaraki's hand. "I told you, Ken-chan. My happiness isn't fake, and I don't think Yachiru-chan's is either. We're both genuinely happy to be able to be with the ones we care about." She looked up at him with a smile. "You're a lot more observant than you look, Ken-chan."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Zaraki yelled as he removed his hand from Orihime's head. "And what is up with you calling me 'Ken-chan' all of a sudden? You don't call anyone else by weird nicknames!"

"Oh, you don't like me doing that?" Orihime said, pretending to pout. "I thought that since Yachiru-chan called you that you wouldn't mind. Unless you only want her to do it?" She was looking up at him with such pathetic looking eyes that Zaraki had to turn away.

"Do whatever the hell you want!" he yelled as he began walking again. "Now come on. We have to find those idiot friends of yours, right?" Orihime laughed as she followed him, but she soon became lost in her own thoughts.

_You don't understand, Ken-chan. I call you that because I feel like we're getting closer; closer than I've ever been with anyone._

----------

It was easy to tell when they were in Ishida's world.

For one thing, there were sewing needles in the bushes that lined their path. Zaraki was the first to spot one.

"What the hell is sticking out of that bush?" he exclaimed, staring curiously at the small pointy object that was glinting in the sunlight.

Orihime went over and picked it up, careful to avoid the sharp end. "It looks like a regular sewing needle," she said, looking back at the bush. "There are a bunch of others here, too. And it looks like there are some in every bush around, and even in some of the flowers."

"And why are the so many goddamn needles sticking out of the plants?"

Orihime thought for a moment. "My guess is that we're in Ishida-kun's world."

Many things came to Zaraki's mind about any man who would be in a world with sewing needles, but decided to keep them to himself.

The next clue that they were in Ishida's world was the random stuffed animal or article of clothing on the side of the road. When Orihime inspected the first stuffed rabbit they had seen, she said that it was definitely Ishida's handiwork.

There were also three suns, but even she didn't have an explanation for that.

Eventually, they reached a large tree that looked like a Christmas tree decorated with thread instead of tinsel. It wasn't regular thread, though; the strands were very thick, some nearly one hundred centimeters wide. Continuing with the Christmas tree look were stuffed animals in place of ornaments. There were all kinds: bears, rabbits, frogs, a variety of rodents, cats, dogs, and the occasional lizard. Orihime had to admit she had never seen a stuffed lizard before.

They also noted that the tree looked strikingly similar to the one that was in Yachiru's world. Minus the blood.

"I wonder if the tree is what creates these illusions," Orihime speculated. "What do you think, Ken-chan?"

"I think your friend is insane," Zaraki replied, unable to take his eyes off the tree. "I thought the animals we saw on our way here were bad enough, but for there to be a goddamn tree full of them…You can not tell me he made all these things, especially in the short time he's been here."

"Maybe time works differently in each of the worlds," Orihime suggested. "Though I do admire Ishida-kun's ability to sew incredibly fast, I don't think even he can make this many in just the time that we've been searching for him."

"Right…going back to what you said earlier." When Orihime looked confused, Zaraki sighed, wondering if she had any brain cells left at all if she couldn't remember what she'd said a few seconds earlier. "About the tree. Should we just destroy it and see what happens?"

Right after he finished speaking, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground and landed at Zaraki's feet. Noticing that it appeared to be some kind of letter, he bent down and picked it up. It read:

_Dear Ken-chan,_

_I must applaud your friend for figuring out that my lovely tree does indeed cause the illusions your friends are stuck in. However, I would advise against destroying them. If you do so while the person is still experiencing the illusion, then the world you're currently in will disappear and you will never be able to return. Put simply, your friend will be lost forever in a world of his own creation and you will never see him again. If you still wish to destroy the tree, feel free to. I doubt you'll remember any of this after you're done reading anyway with your lack of brain cells._

_Best of luck in your quest!_

_Kazumi_

_P.S: You only have half of your original time left, which is an hour and a half for those of you who most likely aren't good at math._

Zaraki crumpled up the paper and threw it to the ground, wishing he was better at kidou so he could burn it with some kind of attack. "That bastard! He's been watching us the whole time! I can't wait to kill him!"

Orihime quietly picked up the letter, straightened it out, and read it herself. "I guess the only way to get Ishida-kun out is to find him," she said. "And we only have an hour and a half left to find both him and Kurosaki-kun, so we should hurry."

"Yeah, yeah," Zaraki grumbled, tempted to rip a stuffed bear from the tree and impale it with his sword. "I just want to get the hell out of here, and if we need to find this freak with a sewing fetish to do that, then we're sure as hell finding him." He began walking with long strides past the tree and in what he hopped was the right direction, though the increasing amount of sewn items on the side of the path should have been a dead giveaway.

One thing they both noticed was that the animals and clothing were getting bigger as they continued, while the quantity of them was getting smaller. There were a few that were as big as, if not bigger, than Zaraki, and Orihime wondered what kind of a needle could make the large stitches that held them together.

Their path ended abruptly when they found that something was blocking it. The object was large, purple and, upon further inspection, found to be the tail of a large, furry stuffed rabbit.

"Yachiru would have a field day with that thing," Zaraki mused, his nose itching from when he had walked right into the giant ball of fuzz.

"But it's not completed yet," Orihime said, looking around the side of it. "It doesn't have a head yet…Hey, there's Ishida-kun!" Zaraki looked to where she was now pointing, and sure enough, there he stood, wearing what appeared to be a newly-sewn Quincy outfit. He was also holding a needle as large as he was, and they watched as he stuck it into the rabbit, pulled it through, then ran a ways away to pull the enormously long thread through the thick fabric.

"Wow, that looks like fun!" Orihime exclaimed. "I wish I could make something that big! You're amazing, Ishida-kun!" It seemed that she had momentarily forgotten about their original objective and was instead focusing entirely on the seemingly-impossible task that the Quincy was currently doing.

Even with all her excitement, however, said Quincy didn't even flinch, look up, or do anything to acknowledge her existence.

"Why is Ishida-kun ignoring me?" Orihime said, feeling a bit hurt that her friend was paying no attention to her.

"My guess is that it's that bastard's fault," Zaraki replied. Orihime didn't need him to elaborate on who the 'bastard' was. "Hey, Glasses Freak! That rabbit looks like something a cat threw up!" When insults didn't work, he turned to Orihime and said, "I give up."

"You can't give up yet, Ken-chan!" Orihime said passionately. "Giving up is a big no-no! We must persevere so that we can free Ishida from the curse of the closet gnomes! Yes, I'm sure that's it! After possessing Kaze-chan they must have decided to move on to Ishida-kun and make him their slave, and by making him their slave they will have a never-ending supply of stuffed animals and clothes, which they'll use to take over the world someday!"

Zaraki could only stare at her. "Whenever you want to return to Earth or wherever the hell we are, let me know," he muttered. When she paused, he took the opportunity to speak and keep her from getting any more ideas about closet gnomes. "I think we both agree that we need to get him to notice us before we can convince him to come with us, right?"

"Right!" Orihime said cheerfully, not the least out of breath from her long rant. "We already tried complimenting him and insulting him, and neither worked."

"We could just pick him up and force him to come with us," Zaraki suggested.

Orihime shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. My guess is that if we don't convince him to come with us like we did with Yachiru-chan, then the world we're in right now won't disappear, and Ishida-kun will keep wanting to come back."

Once again, Zaraki was amazed that she had a brain and knew how to use it. "So what do you suggest?"

Orihime thought a moment. "We shout random things and see if he responds to any of them?"

Zaraki shrugged. "Works for me."

"I'll go first," Orihime said. "Kuchiki-san is here with us!" When it didn't work, she sighed. She had a suspicion that Ishida liked the female Shinigami, and was hoping that would get some kind of reaction.

Zaraki stared at her for a moment, but decided not to bother asking what the relevance of that was. "You have a stick up your ass!"

"That giant tree is on fire!"

"Your sewing skills suck!"

"You're about to be attacked by a flying ninja monkey!"

"That Quincy outfit is lame!"

"I'm in love with Ken-chan!"

"You have–" Zaraki stopped mid-shout and looked at Orihime, who was turning red.

"W-well, Tatsuki-chan told me once that Ishida-kun liked me, s-so I thought that if I said I was in l-love with someone else it would get his attention, and since you're right here you were the first person I though of…"

"Well it didn't work," Zaraki said, choosing to act as if she had never said anything.

"Hmm? Oh, I guess it didn't…" Orihime said, absentmindedly reaching down and picking up a stuffed cat. She was reminded of her cat at home and began softly stroking its head; a moment later, one of the ears fell off.

"What happened?" Orihime wondered, looking at the fallen ear. "I barely touched it and it fell off! I guess since they were made so quickly they're not of very good quality."

"Hey!" Both human and Shinigami turned to see an angry Ishida storming towards them. He reached out and grabbed the cat out of Orihime's arms, bending down to pick up the ear. "What do you think you're doing? These are very delicate, and you should handle them with care!" Ishida held up his free hand and a normal sized needle appeared. He pointed first towards the ear, then at the cat; the needle seemed to come to life as it danced through the thin fabric, an almost invisible tail of thread trailing behind it to link the two pieces together. In a matter of seconds, the ear was back on its owner's head, and the needle had gone back to wherever it came from.

"T-that was amazing!" Orihime exclaimed, choosing her words carefully. It seemed that Kazumi's memory spell was stronger on Ishida, for even after they had confronted each other he didn't seem to remember her. "I'm sorry I broke her in the first place, but she looked so lonely sitting on the ground that I couldn't help it. She also looked so well made that I wanted to see the handiwork up close."

Ishida's face softened. "You have a good eye. Do you sew yourself?"

Orihime bit her lip to keep herself from blurting out that not only did she sew, but they were in the same Handicrafts Club at school. "A little," she said finally. "But I'm afraid I'm better at clothes than stuffed animals."

"Really? They're really not that hard," Ishida said, holding out the cat. "Here. Since you seemed to like her so much, I'd like you to have her, Inoue-san." He stopped, wondering where the name had come from. Orihime, though she was glad Ishida seemed to have at least remembered her name, said nothing as she reached out to take the stuffed animal.

Throughout their entire exchange, Zaraki remained silent. With Yachiru, he had been the one who knew what to say to bring her back; now things were in Orihime's hands. There was nothing he could do but watch and trust that she knew her friend well enough to accomplish their goal.

"Thank you," Orihime said softly, cradling the cat in her arms. "I'll take really good care of her." She paused for a moment, trying to think of what she should say next. "You wouldn't happen to know where we are, would you? I'm afraid we're a bit lost."

Ishida's face scrunched up as he thought. "Now that you mention it, I'm not quite sure," he said finally. "I can't seem to remember anything before coming here." Ishida studied Orihime, overcome by a sense of familiarity. "Do I know you from somewhere? I can't seem to shake the feeling that we've met before."

"Did you know," Orihime began, instead of answering Ishida's question, "that there's a place called Soul Society? It's where all the Shinigami are. They protect humans and souls from beings called Hollows. It's a huge place surrounded by a giant wall, and the only way in is by one of the really strong guards they have stationed at the gates. But sometimes, souls without the guidance of a Shinigami find a way to enter Soul Society illegally. They're called ryoka.

"I was a ryoka once, not too long ago. My friend was taken back there and was going to be killed. I was with my friends who are all really strong, and even though I knew I wasn't good at fighting, I went along anyway. We got separated, but I was with someone, so I wasn't alone. We ran into some trouble along the way, and my only weapon broke during the fight and it took a long time to fix it. During that time I was only in the way, but the person I was with always encouraged me; and when we met one of the captains, who are the strongest in all of Soul Society, his top priority was to get me away safely.

"He's really strong, and he managed to defeat the captain, even though he sustained many injuries himself. And I kept thinking, 'Why do guys always have to be so tough?' But even so, I couldn't help but feel that even though we were apart after that, it was as if we had gotten closer at the same time. And do you know who that person was?"

"Wow, Inoue-san, I didn't know you thought so highly of me," Ishida said, turning red. The whole time she had been talking, he could see everything in his mind, but only in the end had he remembered entirely that she was referring to him.

"So you remember, Ishida-kun?" Orihime asked excitedly.

"Yes, though I can't seem to recall how I got here," Ishida said; he was startled when Orihime suddenly threw her arms around him, smiling brightly.

"I'm glad you're back!" she exclaimed, regaining her composure as she reached down to pick up the cat that she had hastily thrown aside. She was glad the ear was still attached. "Oops. And here I said I would take good care of it, too…"

"Are you two done now?" Zaraki called impatiently, tired of waiting for Orihime to remember his existence. "We're a bit short on time, in case you forgot."

"Oh, you're right!" Orihime cried. "Ishida-kun, we need to hurry up and get out of here and find Kurosaki-kun!"

"Can I finish my rabbit first?" Ishida asked, causing Orihime and Zaraki to look at each other in confusion before looking towards the giant stuffed animal the Quincy had been working on upon their arrival. It occurred to both of them that either Ishida didn't grasp the seriousness of the situation, his mind was still partly under Kazumi's influence, or he just really wanted ensure that his rabbit had a head before he left.

"Ishida-kun, I know you want to finish it, but we're working under a time limit and need to find Kurosaki-kun as soon as possible," Orihime explained. "And it's not like we can take it with us, anyway."

"I suppose you're right," Ishida sighed. "I just hate to leave something unfinished. Before we leave, though, would you mind telling me what the captain of the Eleventh Division is doing here?"

"He was on vacation in our world when we ran into each other. Yachiru-chan was taken to this weird place as well, so we're working together. She's with Toushirou-kun at the moment looking for Kurosaki-kun."

"I just have one question," Zaraki said. "Why the hell are there three suns in this damn place?"

"Ah, yes," Ishida said, pushing his glasses up with his forefinger. "I like to work in a place that's extremely well lit, so I wanted to have as much light as possible. Shall we get going?"

Zaraki decided that he was officially insane.

"Only one more to go until I can kick some ass," he muttered as the world disappeared.

----------

I think this is by far the longest chapter I've ever written, but I thought that you guys deserved it after having to wait for so long. And yeah, Orihime's story was lame, I know. But there was more interaction with her and Zaraki, so that make up for it, right? I hope I didn't disappoint anyone, and as always, reviews are loved and rewarded with cookies.


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